Playing at Normal [Private w/ Felix Satou] [Mature]

[Pearl Essence]

A knife sliced through a dried sausage with a faint click of metal on a wooden cutting board. She'd had dinner, and she suspected he had as well, but there was no harm in making sure there were some simple snacks to enjoy. A plate of sliced cheeses and meats to go with their drinks tonight would be a nice touch and a pleasant change to their previous times hanging out. How long had it been since they'd been able to hang out without the sound of a pen on paper, her attention split between a conversation about the things they enjoyed, most usually music, and whichever class had decided to give her homework that day? Even without that, what time she could be completely free had been taken up by her company and taking the steps necessary to repair the damages that had been caused by a betrayal.

It was dark out, the lampposts around the walkways somewhat obscured by a light rain and fog. Weather all too capable of making her gloomy. Pearl shook her head and smiled at the reflection of herself in the window of her dorm. It wouldn't do to dwell on that tonight. It was a chance to relax, to celebrate having taken steps to make things safer and easier again. Instead she focused on the way the sound of a light rain accompanied the music playing from her laptop. Usually they hung out in his room, but something had made her want to invite him over. Her dorm was the larger of the two, a team dorm all to herself that she won in a bet and that she'd taken a chance to furnish like a studio apartment with shelves of books and trinkets on the walls, and weapons on placards above her bed. Maybe she wanted to show off.

Maybe it was just the chance to wear something more comfortable and let her hair down. An over-sized red flannel shirt made for a wonderfully comfortable nightgown regardless of the season, and looked surprisingly nice with the thigh-high socks she liked to wear, her current ones designed fox legs and paws and ending several inches below the hem of her shirt. In the winter it kept her warm, and in the summer she could leave half the buttons undone and roll her sleeves up. She had an image to keep and walking the halls looking like that wouldn't do.

Pearl carried the plate of meat and cheese over to set it on the nightstand next to her bed, beside a half empty bottle of hard lemonade, a full bottle of bourbon, and a pair of empty glasses waiting to be filled. She kicked her feet back and forth hanging nearly a foot off the ground after climbing up to sit on the edge of the bed to wait for her friend to show up. There was a slight pang of anxiety that she had decided she'd trusted him enough to share her door code with him. This was Felix though. He was practically the perfect example of someone you could trust to do the right thing.

[Felix Satou]

Felix' heart pounded in his chest as he jogged through the light rain that fell around campus. He loved the way the rain made everything look a little brighter as the lamps reflected off the ground, the dampened walls, the puddles. The way the fog lent it all a soft glow was oddly calming. It reminded him of the snow in winter. He liked all kinds of weather, he thought to himself as he hurried his way over towards Pearl's dorm. He'd ditched the usual outfit for something a little bit more comfortable. This time he was wearing black joggers with a pink drawstring tied in a little bow, and a fairly simply t-shirt that was the same color as his eyes, accented with a couple of buttons at the neck. Jogging in joggers! He never did this. He almost only ever did it in shorts, but now he could understand the appeal in the cold.

It didn't take him long to get to Pearl's dorm. He knew the way. They hadn't ever hung out there before, but she'd mentioned where it was to him and even given him the door code and he'd made a point of memorizing both, just in case. You never knew when you might need to count on a friend, or ask one for help, and it went both ways! He definitely considered her a friend. If for some reason his sister wasn't there for him to go to, he knew he could count on Pearl.

When he arrived he was only a little damp, not wet, not soaked, and he wouldn't be leaving any puddles anywhere. He'd brought Dover with him, just in case the little fox was itching for some music. He loved performing for small audiences, and Pearl was about the smallest he'd ever performed for. That joke was probably not going to be leaving his lips any time soon. He knocked loudly to make sure that Pearl knew he was there. "Hey Pearl! It's Felix! This is me telling you I'm coming in in case you're in some kind of compromising position that would be highly embarrassing for me to just barge in on so if you don't want me to come in just yell or throw something at the door," he said in a cheerful, joking tone before punching in the door code and stepping inside.

His eyes were very quickly drawn to Pearl's legs dangling from the edge of her bed and the socks she was wearing. He nearly forgot to close the door behind him. "O-Oh. Oh wow." The door clicked shut after he fumbled behind himself for a second and shoved it closed. Pearl was a girl. Sometimes, shockingly, that fact got lost somewhere in his head while they were talking about technology or school or music. She'd regale him with some of the sparring matches she'd had as he asked her for advice on how to fight and he'd forget that Pearl was a girl. He'd be too busy thinking about how Pearl has great taste, how she's got a great analytical mind for fighting, how she's strong. Pearl's a fighter. Pearl's a mechanic. But Pearl was also a girl, and there were times where it really hit him like a truck how cute she was. He wanted to pick her up and hug her.

He'd end up with his own matching pair of prosthetic arms if he did, though, so he successfully fought the urge! "Stars you look cute in those. Do you think I'd look good in those? A pair that fits, I mean. Maybe I should get a matching pair sometime. I don't think I could pull off the flannel shirt quite as well, though, I...don't think they make them in a size where it'd fit on me like that." He moved to take a seat nearby on the bed, close enough to be personal, but not so close that he was right on top of her, even if he wanted to scoop up the adorable little fox and squeeze her.

[Pearl Essence]

One of the reasons she trusted him with her door code sounded out when he got there. Not only a knock, but the clearest warning he could give that he was coming in. Even if she had been dancing naked in the middle of her dorm, she'd have had time to pull something over herself. It was also loud and awkward enough that it would likely douse a few of the rumors that might spring up from her having a young man visit. “You know you can just come in right? It's not the end of the world if you see something anyway.” Pearl pushed the laptop, still playing soft and melancholic music, away from the edge of the bed so he could sit near her if he chose. She usually took a spot near him when she visited his dorm.

There was something about his reaction to seeing her that put a smile on her face, a real one instead of her typical mask. There were men and women both who could be smitten by her appearance. It wasn't unusual to see someone at a bar or even one of the Beacon training rooms eyeing her as if they wanted to try their luck. A certain young man that worked for her came to mind, his quips and jokes always on the edge of what she allowed. There was a subtle difference in the way he looked at her sometimes. Like he needed to just stop and appreciate her in the moment. Something strangely genuine and endearing.

“You'd look fantastic in a pair of socks like this. If it wouldn't get me so many strange looks, I'd recommend socks like this to everyone!” Truly, it was one of her guilty pleasures. More of her wardrobe was devoted to cute thigh-high socks than to even her undergarments. Though, even then she had more than a few sets that matched some of her socks. She was even wearing one of those now, not that Felix, or anyone else for that matter, was going to get to find out just what those looked like. “You could probably find a pair or three at 3F. That's where I get mine. They've even got underwear to match and they do custom sizing. It's where I get just about anything I wear if Iri doesn't design it.” Well, he might be able to find out that way if he braved going into a store aimed at huntresses.

She pointed to the unopened bourbon and the hard lemonade she'd already started on, before drifting towards the plate. “I know it's been a bit since I've been completely free, but we've got the usual.” It was never a good idea to drink when she had work to do. “And more options in the mini fridge that I usually can't bring with me. Enough ingredients to make a few cocktails if you're feeling like something that isn't just hard liquor. A charcuterie board with meats and cheeses to snack on since I've already had dinner. Cards in my desk if you feel like making me regret an idea tonight, and I finally set up my laptop so we can watch a movie here instead. Everything so I can actually relax for a change.”

[Felix Satou]

It wasn't the end of the world if he saw something, anyways? He swallowed. Pearl probably didn't have any idea what saying something like that to him actually meant. Was that an invitation? A fun flirtation? Just a factual statement that she was comfortable with her body enough that Felix seeing some slip he wasn't meant to wouldn't be a disaster?! Was she telling him to KISS HER?! Obviously not, but his imagination ran wild with the possibilities and already the lights of his semblance were shining about as brightly as they could, little stars shimmering in and out of existence in the air around him. He grinned, ears turning a little red at Pearl's enthusiastic affirmation that yes, he would look cute in those socks.

"I actually like my drinks like I like my socks, Pearl, as feminine and sweet as possible." He could own up to it. What did a feminine cocktail look like, anyways? "So if you're feeling like going through the effort of mixing me something with sugar in it I'd be happy to let you spoil me. As far as entertainment goes, though, I think you should pick, since you're the one who's been in need of time off. Whatever you think is going to be most relaxing ought to be what we do, since I'm going to enjoy myself just being here with you." He unslung Dover from his back and tossed it in what he figured was the general direction of a chair. Miraculously, the strap caught the edge at just the right angle to swing around once before gently settling into a hanging position without knocking over the chair. Felix didn't even bother watching after the guitar left his hands.

"And...maybe I will go check it out," he said, mulling over just what kind of socks he'd want to get anyways. Maybe he could get Pearl's advice on what looked good and what didn't. It'd probably be a fun activity, right? Would Pearl get a kick out of watching him play dress up with short shorts and thigh highs? He'd have to be brave enough to actually do it to find out.

[Pearl Essence]

Pearl was certainly a whiskey kind of girl. The taste of smoke and leather burning on her tongue was one of her favorite things to experience after a long day, but even she could appreciate a sweet cocktail that looked like cotton candy from a carnival. “At least you're honest with yourself. I can't count how many times men have tried to keep up with my tastes only to gag and sputter because they can't handle their whiskey. Let me tell you, few things impress me less than having someone cough their drink up on my boots. Waste of good whiskey that...” There was a clink of metal on glass as she grabbed her drink for a quick sip and hopped off the bed. The days of watching with worry as Felix tossed around Dover were gone. They both knew it would go exactly where it needed to, and she'd still be impressed.

“You know what? The idea of making you a cocktail sounds nice and. I've not made a cocktail in awhile, and I don't know how capable I'll be of doing so after a few drinks myself.” She absentmindedly placed her bottle on the table over the mini fridge and bent down to open it up. “So, when you say you like them sweet and feminine, are we talking like you can't taste the alcohol in it at all, or more balanced out so there's a good flavor with the burn?” Several bottles could be heard being bumped together in the fridge as she double checked what she had.

“After I make you a drink and maybe one of my own... Well, I'll be honest, it's the first weekend I've had to myself in months, and I'm going to be playing it by ear. I'm hoping to forget my troubles by morning.” At least she had a recipe book for cocktails in the drawer. He wouldn't be completely without the means to make him another if she got too drunk or decided to take something else to enjoy the night. It felt like she was forgetting something though.

[Felix Satou]

"Hey, I can appreciate whisky with the best of them! My dad is a big fan of the stuff, and I like to sample the stuff that he has whenever I go to visit. It's just...hm...well, sometimes I don't want to appreciate the subtle flavors of what I'm drinking. Sometimes, I just want sugar and lemonade and alcohol, you know? Steaks are great, but sometimes you just gotta have a hot dog, and while a hot dog isn't as good as a steak, no steak can scratch the itch that a hot dog scratches." He really, really hoped that he was making sense with what he was saying. Pearl wasn't exactly the most judgmental type around him, but still! He liked being understood, and sometimes his metaphors weren't always the most clear.

"And, to actually answer the question, as saccharin and sweet as possible. I don't really care if I can taste the alcohol or not, it's not like the taste of liquor is offensive or anything, I just like sugar." He scooched back on the bed so he could rest his back against the wall and watch Pearl work on his drink. His eyes lingered on the fox socks. She had such a tough facade, but even she liked things like this, didn't she? "Troubles? I thought they'd dried up with all the extra free time you got ever since that project with Nym worked out for you two. Got something in particular you're trying not to worry about?" She was always a little guarded about what was worrying her beyond classes, and he had always been good about respecting her boundaries. He cared. He wanted to know what was making her worry, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He'd ask, but if she didn't want to share, he didn't push it. He was more than happy to talk to her about things they both enjoyed, like socks or music.

[Pearl Essence]

Her ears wiggled in amusement as he tried to defend his tastes in liquor, reassuring her that he did indeed enjoy whiskey. There was a reason she'd put it on the end table by the bed for them after all, but she couldn't help but tease him a little. It was fun. Felix was fun. He was so far removed from everything else in her life that she certainly didn't regret calling him a friend. He was normal, he hadn't suffered like so many who worked for her had. He didn't know about the other side of her business, the masks she changed through so easily, the fact that she was more of a monster than some of the things they'd fought together. With any luck, he never would.

“So sickeningly sweet. Tons of fruit and sugar. Got it.” As if to prove a point she took a moment to claim a box of sugar cubes from a shelf above her makeshift kitchen table before bending down to pick out the alcohols of choice. She knew just the cocktail to make and she'd actually make two. It was refreshing and sweet, a delight on the tongue that would a deceptive little trap. With a drink in mind, she moved more quickly, ingredients appearing on the table in short order with a pair of chilled glasses. A half hop moved her to where the second mini fridge where she kept her prepped meals and pried one of them open to pull free a few pieces of melon.

“That project with Nym has solved my Beacon related troubles, sure, but...” Pearl sighed as she poured one part vodka and two parts melon liqueur into both glasses. She didn't want to answer the question, but at the same time... It wasn't even related to the side she was hiding from him. A quick swig of the liqueur wet her tongue enough to keep talking and working on the cocktails. One part orange juice came next. “My business ran into some trouble. A huntsman we hired on for a security detail on a shipment abandoned the mission halfway through during an attack. Some of my people, they didn't make it. People I put out there, people who trusted me to make sure they were safe, didn't make it.”

Pearl cut the melon into tiny cubes before skewering them on a toothpick. “I got more involved with running things after that, trying to make sure something like that doesn't happen again.” Her ears had gone from perked up to half drooped. A quick stir with a spoon broke the layers of liquids and mixed it to a rich bright green. “I've hired on a new huntsman though for a few months. Someone to train my security team so that doesn't happen again. You might have even heard of him. Jim Lavay. I know... I know for a fact he won't abandon my people.” She sighed and stared at the cocktails she'd made before balancing the skewered melon cubes across the top. “Of course I don't want to forget the people. My people are like family to me, but... I want to forget what happened for right now at least.”

[Felix Satou]

Melon. There was a joke to be made there, Felix was sure of it, but it didn't feel like now was an appropriate time to make it. The troubles with her side business were bringing about a more serious tone to Pearl's voice. She hadn't ever been particularly forthcoming about what her business did. The best he could tell was that it was some kind of shipping or courier service. It had to be transporting some very valuable items in order to bring in enough money for a huntsman. It was obviously a lot of pressure to handle both the business and her academics at Beacon. Especially so when things started going wrong. Seeing Pearl's ears drop made his chest hurt. She really did care for the people who worked under her. The name Lavay didn't ring any bells for Felix, though.

He had questions, but they weren't quite as important as Pearl's need to relax and not think about it for a bit. "I can tell you've got a lot of weight on your shoulders, Pearl. It's really something, the fact that you're doing such a stressful job on top of Beacon Academy and all it's trappings. There are very few people who'd be capable of that." He scooched closer so she wouldn't have to reach too far to hand him the cocktail she'd mixed for him. "You definitely deserve a break from that, if you ask me, which you didn't, but I'm going to chime in and tell you it anyways."

[Pearl Essence]

There was a wetness to her eyes that she couldn't ignore or pretend wasn't there, but she could at least blink it away before it became too obvious that she'd nearly started to cry. Crying wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make it hurt less. It certainly never had before. Pearl took in a slow breath through her nose and exhaled through her mouth to steady herself. There was only so much she could hide with him sitting right there, but she'd at least manage to hold it together. “A break would be nice, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to have more than a few moments here and there. Things have gotten easier recently, but... Well, there's always something that needs done.” There was more weight than he knew, and it was a miracle she hadn't drowned under it all.

Getting the two glasses and her bottled drink situated took her several seconds to figure out. Seconds that would have been better spent simply reaching Felix his drink so she could grab both of hers, but she turned to him with a glass in both hands and the bottle precariously held with one metal pinky around the neck. “You'd have liked Momo. She had the same taste in drinks as you. She liked them so terribly sweet, you'd think her feathers should have been made of sugar and chocolate. Ugh, she'd have never forgiven me for serving a Melon Ball with cubed melons though.”

Pearl offered Felix his drink before she took a seat where she'd been before. It didn't go unnoticed that he'd scooted closer, whether for his drink or just to be closer to her she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure she cared either. A deft hand managed to place her bottle on the end-table without spilling it. “A bit of a break if why I invited you over. I figured you wouldn't mind drinking and talking the night away, all while telling some cheesy jokes, hearing some of my awful puns, and well, it's probably safer to drink and smoke myself into a stupor with a friend around than not.” There was a nagging thought at the back of her mind still that she was forgetting something.

[Felix Satou]

He recognized the stoic expression on Pearl's face, the deep breath, the rapid blinking that were the final stoppers to hold back tears. He'd seen the look on his sister's face dozens of times. He'd felt it on his own, just as often. She was just as human as he was. As invincible as she might have seemed to the passing observer, she had feelings, worries, and fears just the same as everyone else. It broke his heart that there were people out there who would have passed her by just because of the ears on her head. He accepted his drink with a chuckle. "Well, just call it a Melon Geometric Shape, and until you meet a bartender who can create four dimensional objects you ought to be covered." He took a sip of the drink, pleased to find that it was as sugary as promised. "Ah, okay, that's really good."

"You're probably right, by the way. About the cheesy jokes, drinking, but liking people too. I like a lot of people. Most of them, actually. I don't know if I could really be a huntsman if I didn't." He swirled his drink, watching the ice move round the glass. "People are interesting. We all live really different lives. I mean, look at me and my sister, right? Twins, and we're so different from each other you might not guess it unless you both saw us wearing the same thigh highs." He grinned at Pearl. "When you talk to them and take the time to get to know them...it's hard not to like people. Well, for me, anyways. And, obviously, some people are way more interesting and way more worth getting to know." He reached across and clinked his lightly against Pearl's prosthetic arm to help underscore exactly who he was talking about.

[Pearl Essence]

The look in Felix's eyes was an impossible one to misunderstand as she'd sat down. It was a look of worry for her. He'd seen her brief struggle against her emotions, the threat of tears, the way she'd dammed them off and refused to accept them in the moment. Most importantly though, it wasn't pity. A soft giggle passed her lips at his joke, her smiled dimmed by what she was fighting against. “I know someone who'd take that as a challenge. May actually pull it off too.” Her eyes rested on him as he tasted his drink. There was a bit of satisfaction to be had that he actually liked it. Sweet drinks weren't her forte.

The taste of sugar and melon lingered on her tongue after a deep drink as she listened to him talk and hung onto his words. Each one was another moment she could keep silent, another moment to easily distract herself. That was especially true as he planted the image of him and his sister standing side by side in socks like hers. A glance at his legs and hips was enough to suspect he was actually right that they wouldn't be easy to tell apart. The feeling of glass against her arm and a faint clink pulled her out of her reverie.

“People are interesting. Fascinating even.” Pearl placed her fingertips where he'd tapped her metal arm. “Interesting people are the reason I could feel that. I can't even comprehend how they managed that...” She shook her head and put both hands back on her drink and stared at the two pieces of honeydew skewered above the bright green drink. “As you get to know people though, you start to care, you start to feel things. Their presence in your life starts to become important, and you end up not wanting to lose that. Worse, you can never know if you're actually as important to them, especially if you know they don't actually know you.”

[Felix Satou]

He nodded. He might have had a little less experience than Pearl did with the idea of being uncomfortable with vulnerability. There were people in his life that he'd been vulnerable with and open with for years! The advantage of having a twin, but opening himself up to other people was scary, and made harder by the fact that he didn't need to, he had his sister. Well, he had his sister for a lot of things, but there were some things that he wasn't going to be able to do with her. He'd need to get over his own fears of being vulnerable with new people sooner or later.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. This...okay, this analogy isn't perfect, and I'm going to preface this by saying that I know it's not perfect, so please don't hit me if I accidentally end up sounding super racist, but...I had a pet cat when I was a kid." Felix raised his shoulder and put a hand in front of his face, pretending to flinch at a punch that was never going to come, peeking between his fingers with a cheeky grin before settling back down to continue. "I loved that little cat almost as much as I loved my sister. We cuddled up in bed together on rainy days, we played with toys together when I was just a baby, I'd had her since as long as I could remember. And..." He sighed. The stars that filled the air around him were thin, few and far between now. "I was devastated when she passed away. We had to put her down. She was...just too old, wasn't eating, nothing to be done but make sure she passed peacefully. I didn't go to school for almost a week, and thank the stars it happened before I discovered my semblance or it could have been way worse. It hurt more than any bruise or scratch or unkind words I'd ever felt. I still see her in my dreams sometimes, and I miss her, but I wouldn't trade the happy memories I had with her for anything."

He took another pull from his glass as he continued. "Thirteen years of happiness outweighed all the sadness. I would have been missing out on so much if I had never had a cat, or had my parents chosen not to get one to spare us the pain of losing one. And...all that was just one cat. People? There's so much more to people. Whenever I'm thinking about chickening out and not talking to someone new, or I'm worried about coming off as a weirdo when I'm about to send a text via scroll to someone I just met, I try and think about what I could be missing out on if I don't try, 'cuz...I..." He paused, rearranging the words in his head as he tried to think how best to phrase it. "I think it would be more painful to live a life trying to avoid being hurt and closing yourself off from the chance of finding those connections than reaching out to others and trying to find them. I might never know exactly how important I am to the people around me, but I'll know I matter to the right people."

[Pearl Essence]

Pearl took a short breath before finishing off her drink as he preemptively apologized for something possibly sounding racist. People loved to apologize before saying some terrible or shitty take on life as if that would excuse their insensitivity. Felix wasn't that kind of man... He genuinely meant well, and even if what he said, did cause her to side eye him and roll her eyes, the corner of her mouth turned up slightly at the attempt. Her empty glass clinked against the bottle of hard lemonade as she set it down on the end table. As she straightened back up, she swayed for a moment to keep her balance on the edge of the bed.

Again, she found herself listening to him, something people had claimed she never did for anyone. There was little truth in it. Just as she loved to watch people, she loved to listen, to learn how they saw the world. There was always a little hope that someone would say something magical, something that just clicked in her mind and righted the world. It never came. Not from Dr. Nestor, and not from Felix, but she still listened. There was no hiding the sadness that crept onto her face as she watched little blue stars of joy die in the air around him, fading from existence not to come back for a time. How many got to see this side of Felix? How many got to see this side of her?

“Our lives are richer and more vibrant with passion in them... Without people, there's not really much passion to be found. Still, I'm sorry we dredged up unpleasant memories for you.” The conversation she had with certain dark haired fox suddenly felt fresh in her memory. “I've been thinking about a lot lately. About why I've kept my distance from everyone. About how that's made me feel, and like there's always something new to talk to Dr. Nestor about. About why I still haven't said yes to being on the same team as you and your sister despite wanting to be. I wasn't entirely forthcoming about why. I didn't lie before. Those other things are concerns in their own right.” Did he even remember her other concerns? “I don't believe there should be secrets between teammates, but I don't think I can share my secrets.”

[Felix Satou]

Felix waved away her concern. "It's fine. I'm the one who brought it up, anyways. If I want a less depressing metaphor I bet I could have found it." It might have dimmed his mood, but he was overall still in good spirits! How could he not be? He was getting to spend his evening with a new friend just relaxing in her dorm, which was much more spacious than his own, while drinking good spirits. Good spirits could put you into good spirits! Har har! But his own story wasn't the more pressing topic here. It sounded like Pearl was really contemplating some tough thoughts for her. She had secrets she didn't want to share. Or, maybe she did want to share them, but she was afraid of what sharing them might do! The things they'd talked about before, his sister's diet, Pearl's stuff, they were speedbumps not road closures.

He drained his drink before setting it down on the end table next to Pearl's glass. "You can." His tone was warm, but not forceful. "Maybe not with everyone, but you can share them with me. I can keep secrets. I'm not the kind of guy who'll betray your trust if you put some in me. Maybe you don't want to share them right now, that's fine, you don't have to, but I'm not planning on going anywhere. What are friends for if you can't confide in the?" He was well aware of the fact that whatever secrets Pearl might be keeping could be truly shocking things. If he was taking a stab in the dark it sounded like it might be something on the level of being a former member of the White Fang! But people were more than their past, more than a single secret, more than their fears. Her secrets couldn't be so damning as to drive him away.

"You can also tell me to stuff a sock in it, too, hah. I'm not trying to pry, but I won't be hurt if it sounds like I am." He was totally trying to pry, but not in a snoopy, gossipy way! It was the prying you did for the people you cared about.

[Pearl Essence]

Of course he'd offer to listen and keep them. Even if she held a literal bloody ledger in her hand that detailed every crime, every sin she'd committed regardless of the reason why, he'd offer to read it if he felt it would help her. Felix despite the lack of faith she had in what he'd be able to handle, had far more faith in himself. Likely too much, and that was the problem. His kindness was a thing to behold, a beautiful thing, that could light up even a dank dreary cliff-side where she'd struggled with similar thoughts. Thoughts that would continue to haunt their friendship until it was no more if she didn't say something. Chances were though... Saying something would end the same way, and sooner.

“Felix,” She pulled herself more into bed while turning to face him, her back against her pillows and hugging her knees to her chest. “What if I were to say being on a team with me would put-” She stopped herself and held up a hand in an attempt to stop what might be an obvious answer. “Scratch that. You want to be huntsman and you're foolishly brave if a bit naive. You expect to be in danger so even saying we will likely end up enemies one day won't change your mind, but what if it was your family?” The words slipped from her mouth without a thought in her frustration.

“What if being close to someone means putting your family in danger. This isn't just the cold truth that as hunters we'll one day bite off more than we can chew and die, or we'll watch our comrades die and we'll retire to teach believing maybe we can teach the next generation how to be better.” How many of their professors had lived that story? Pearl lowered her voice and glanced over towards their empty drinks. “There are people who will do anything they can if they think it can get to me.”

[Felix Satou]

Pearl's tone was serious, and this was something she'd likely spent a lot of time agonizing over. Whatever business she was into, whatever enemies she'd made, they were despicable enough to want to hurt her friends to get at her. But they were already friends! They were both already in danger! Even his own family was already in danger. Vale was relatively safe, but no where in the world was truly outside of the sphere of influence of the Grimm. Maybe he really would be putting his family's lives in danger just by knowing this girl, but that didn't seem like enough of a reason to be dissuaded. He didn't feel dissuaded!

"The whole world's in danger Pearl," it wasn't like this was some grand revelation to either of them. "Grimm could overrun Vale. We don't know enough about them to say they'd never be able to amass a horde that size. I could die in a training accident tomorrow. My parents could die in a farming disaster, though, that's not likely, they're not that defenseless. Maybe being friends with you increases the danger, to me, to my family, but I'll take my chances. I want to live the life that I want to live as hard as I can until whatever ends up killing me kills me, and I'm not going to let fear stop me from doing what I want to...well, I might use it to help make informed choices, but I think choosing to be friends with you is the right choice, despite the danger."

[Pearl Essence]

Pearl turned her gaze on him, cold and angry before her visage softened. For the briefest moment, she wanted to scream at him, to yell and curse and accuse him of not truly caring about his family... Except that wasn't true. Pearl had heard the love in his voice as he talked about Telu even before she'd had the opportunity to meet his twin. More importantly, she'd seen it with her own eyes. Stars of blue light that were nearly imperceptible gradually grow until the air around him sparkled even as joy filled his eyes. They were lovely in their own right, and knowing what they meant, she couldn't help but want to see them anytime she saw Felix. Not for his good luck, no, but for his happiness. This time however, she wanted to see the other side of his semblance.

“Do you really believe that Felix? That you live life as hard as you can? That you take your chances? You've told me about your semblance before. What it does, how it gives you bad luck. You've shared good luck with me, which means you can share bad.” There was some cruelty in the idea as it came to her. It was an awful thing to want to test his resolve. It filled her chest with guilt even as the words left her lips. “If you truly believe what you say, I want you to share your bad luck with me next time. Do that, and I'll stop shying away from us hanging out in the city again. I'll quit trying to push you away. I'll finally do what we both say we want and join your team. If you can't... Then you understand what I'm afraid of.”

[Felix Satou]

He couldn't quite understand the chilling look she fixed him with, but it didn't seem to phase him. This was a touchy subject. He wasn't going to hold it against her if she didn't handle it perfectly. He wasn't expecting himself to be able to handle it perfectly either! Her response didn't seem like it was being given by someone who was handling things perfectly. Why would she want to expose herself to a string of bad luck for no reason? What was the point of that? Or...was it another way of saying she'd want to help him out if he was feeling the kind of way that would turn his stars purple? That was a much more touching sentiment.

"I live as hard as I want to live, yes. And I take the chances I want to take." It wasn't as if he needed someone to be there for him when he was feeling down. His sister could do a great job of consoling him if he needed help. His parents had been good at it too. This was probably the first time he'd had someone outside of his family express interest in it. "If you really want that, I can. I...don't like to expose other people to it, but if you're volunteering, well...I'm not going to say no to that." His smile was warm as he said it. It wasn't every day someone asked to support you so forwardly, much less someone so cool. "It's not something I can schedule, though. I'll have a bad mood when it happens, and I'll...I'll come find you when it does, but...there's no guarantee that's going to happen soon. I'm usually pretty good at not having those moods."

[Pearl Essence]

“I don't like exposing other people to the dangers of my life either. Especially the people I've come to care about, so yes, that's what I want.” A sigh left her and she rested her head on her knees, eyes staring at nothing. How had this gotten so out of hand? Her idea to call Felix over was to have fun, the relax, to listen to his music, and maybe even sing a song of her own for a change. He'd never gotten to hear her sing. Instead, she couldn't stop her mouth from rambling on about what she was afraid of, who she was afraid of losing... All because the moment he walked in the door, she couldn't stop thinking about how he could end up like them. For a man blessed with a way to change fate, things always seemed to get out of hand around him.

“It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was just a stupid little bet to see if you could play music as well as you said. You were a virtuoso on that piano, and you could sing so well. I just couldn't resist hearing more, but I didn't believe you could do it. Then you did. Whatever you touched, you played so well. So you won, you got your dinner date. It was just supposed to be dinner, but I enjoyed myself. That should have been the end of it. You even introduced me to your sister.” Pearl wiped at her eyes, her steel hand merely spreading the wetness to her cheeks. “Fate just couldn't help herself though, and there you were assigned to be on a routine security check. One of the only times I've ever had someone assigned with me, and it was you? And of course... I enjoyed our time out. It was nice to have someone to talk to, to share camp with, and... to trust to fight beside me.”

Why was she recounting their history together? What did it matter? Pearl lifted her head but still couldn't bring herself to look at him, instead hitting the back of her head against the wall with a dull thud. “And now, I'm sitting here losing it instead of smiling and laughing like we usually do, because after losing Momo, Rye, and Oak... I don't want to lose another friend because I've made so many enemies.” The back of her head struck the wall again and her ears twitched. “And now I. Can't. Shut. Up!” Each word was punctuated by her head striking the wall again as if the ringing in her ears and gritting her teeth would help her stop.

[Felix Satou]

The lights in the air around Felix slowly dimmed and disappeared as he listened to Pearl. She was really suffering right now. Those three names, Momo, Rye, Oak, weighed heavily on her mind. She felt like her actions had lead to their deaths. Maybe they had in a way, but Felix was sure that Pearl wasn't the one who killed them. Her finger wasn't at the trigger when they'd died. It wasn't her fault, it was the fault of whoever had done the deed. When he saw her start to tear up, her metal hands ineffectual wiping at her face, he felt a pang of empathy in his chest. Was she really that scared of making friends here? She did always have time for him. Who else did she have to prioritize over him? He'd managed to worm his way into her social circle despite her best efforts to remain aloof and distant.

Because no one wanted to be alone.

He couldn't stand watching her beat herself up. Instincts that had come from years of consoling his sister when she was broken hearted or sad compelled him to move to Pearl's side of the bed and sit right next to her. His palms came up to her cheeks and his thumbs brushed away the tears coming out of her eyes before he wrapped her up in a warm hug. His body moved without thought. He just couldn't stand her looking so lonely when he was right there. He took in a deep breath.

He couldn't promise her that she would never lose him. Either one of them could die any day. He couldn't assure her that it wasn't her fault. How could she buy that coming from someone who didn't even know why those people died for her? There weren't words that could fix her. But he could be there. He could share the same space and remind her that she wasn't alone. She still had friends. She had friends she could smile and laugh with, and she had friends she could cry with too.

[Pearl Essence]

She loathed this. This feeling of grief and fear building within her and spilling from her eyes. She was stronger than this, she had to be. She wasn't just Pearl Essence. She was the Hellhound, a red-eyed monster wearing a kitsune mask that had left broken bodies in her wake, torn apart and burned like straw dolls. Tears didn't fall for her. People didn't cry for her, and she wasn't supposed to let herself cry for others. Not during their funerals as what they had been able to recover was laid to rest. Not during the eulogies, not when she shared her memories of them with others who had drank and fought beside them. Not as she quietly typed up letters to their families while a movie with Felix had played in the background. They should be laughing at some stupid movie with the taste of liquor and spiced meat on their tongues.

There were so many holes within the walls she'd built that when the bed shifted with his weight as he got closer, she was still throwing her head back towards the wall again... And then she froze. The warmth on her cheeks was no longer just her tears. Eyes blinked closed concealing vivid amber as he brushed away her tears. Her breath failed her as her chest grew tight, a tremor shaking her small frame as she tried to breath out, only to gasp and sob. Every instinct told her to swing, to punch, to break him like she had everything else... Steel fists clenched, the feeling of fabric carried through false nerves in her palms and fingers. The urge to push him away didn't compare to her death-grip on the support he offered her.

With her face buried against him the tears she owed to the three of them fell freely, dampening his shirt. The feeling of arms wrapped around her in a supportive embrace was as familiar as it was alien to her. Memories of the last time she'd cried like this felt fresh in her mind, but it wasn't a white suit that she couldn't feel that she clung to as the minutes passed and her sobs gradually weakened. It was that loss that had made her so fierce. That was when she promised she'd do all in her power to never let it happen again, when she promised she'd make anyone who hurt those close to her bleed. Maybe Fate just chose to remind her of what she was fighting for. “I'm- I'm sorry. I-I-It wasn't s'posed to be like this.”

[Felix Satou]

With how tightly she clung to him, he couldn't help but wonder if Pearl felt like he was the only one she could let see her be vulnerable. Maybe he was just looking too deeply into things, wanting to feel special, but he hadn't gotten the impression they were so close that she could unburden herself like this. He knew stoic. His father had always been that way. While his parents hadn't had many difficulties on the farm there were still struggles and he'd never seen his dad shed a tear. Pearl had given him much the same impression. Stoic, wanting to be in control of her emotions all the time, he could relate. Letting people see you be weak wasn't easy, especially so for someone who would actively harm them when they did! He had the privilege of a twin sister, someone he never felt uncomfortable around for those moments. Who did Pearl have?

Who did she have?

The thought hit him like a dust powered train flying at mach ten down the rails. He could control himself most of the time, but the idea that this strong, independent, wonderful girl had chosen him of all people to cry to broke his heart. His eyes watered and when he blinked he could feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Loss hurt. He'd only lost a cat and he knew! How much did it hurt Pearl to lose people she cared about? He didn't sob, but he couldn't help feeling the hurt by proxy. One hand reached up to gently touch the top of her hair and brush down to her neck while she cried, fingers brushing over the spot she'd been hitting the wall with. She nearly sounded like a different person when her muffled voice drifted up from his shirt.

"It's okay, Pearl," his voice was a little hoarse, but gentle and quiet. "It doesn't have to be any kind of way. Take your time. If you need something, tell me."

[Pearl Essence]

Much the same as when her anger won and her eyes burned much like the monsters of grimm they were supposed to fight, there was no stopping it at a certain point. Pearl gave into the pain and let it out in sobs that came slower and weaker as time passed. Felix's touch was a comfort and frightening, his hand petting her head and fingers moving through her hair. A sob was mixed with a hiss of pain as his hand ran over the back of her head. Another strike and her hair would have been stained with blood. Aura was magnificent in protecting oneself, but it could do little when one's desire was to hurt themselves. She'd learned that a hundred times over.

Pearl took a deep steadying breath, the mild scent of rain mingling with that of melon and citrus, teased at her nose as the tears slowed and her body stopped shaking. It was dangerously tempting to lose herself in her senses and take another deep breath of air that was very much Felix. Especially as his words of comfort played out over and over in her head. It didn't have to be any certain way did it? Her very soul embodied change in the most unlikely of ways. Her entire goal was to change the world, to channel her anger towards all the injustice in the systems around her and break them down so they could be built anew with something better. It didn't have to be any certain way, and that's what they had died for. They believed in that. Most started for the money, the protection, but they all came to believe in what she was doing.

“I- I needed this I think. I needed to be reminded of.. of why I'm doing what I'm doing.” She wiped her tears off on his shirt, but had the presence of mind to use a sleeve for her nose. “I don't know what I need next. H-haven't. D-damn it.” Her voice still cracked and shook as she tried to talk. “Haven't thought that f-far ahead.”

[Felix Satou]

Felix didn't seem bothered by wherever Pearl chose to dry her tears or wipe her nose. He stayed where he was, not moving to break up their embrace until the diminutive fox moved away from him. He marveled internally at what a strange sight the two of them would have made. Green as could be, barely even an adult Felix was comforting one of the toughest, strongest fighters that he'd ever met while she cried into his shirt. She could have lifted him bodily and tossed him out of her window if he overstepped his boundaries here! Not that he thought that was a bad thing, or that he was going to toe any lines. It just went to show how privileged his upbringing was. He felt a sudden surge of gratitude for the love and support of his parents and sister. He couldn't imagine being in Pearl's shoes. He could imagine helping her take them off...metaphorically. Probably...

By the time Pearl was talking, Felix had gotten himself under control enough that there weren't any more tears dripping down his face. A moment of focus and he could see that there were no stars in the air around either of them. That was probably for the best. It might have felt a little opportunistic to uphold his part of their bargain right now.

He chuckled quietly. "I can't say I've ever done much planning ahead when I really need to cry, so, I won't hold that against you." His hand rested lightly against the top of her head while he gave her a little squeeze with the other arm, a hopefully reassuring hug. "So, no pressure. We've got all the time in the world...for tonight, heh."

[Pearl Essence]

The fear of being touched was fading, a strange thing. So many people took it for granted, when someone lifted a hand to touch your head, it was usually a gentle touch, a reassuring pat, maybe even a tousling of their hair in a playful gesture. A fist striking on the nose, a clubbing blow from a bat to her jaw, fingers pulling at her hair to pull a knife across her throat, she'd survived that and worse. It left her guarded and unwilling to let most get close. Losing her arm and hand had helped with that. It was easier to keep people at bay when her main way to touch the world couldn't feel. Despite it all, she didn't immediately pull away, instead lingering in his warmth tension fading from her body.

“I cry sometimes, but I always try to make sure I'm alone for it. Just me and my prayers usually.” Pearl's voice was muffled against him, her head was beginning to swim from what she'd drank. The impacts against the wall surely hadn't been any help either. She was reluctant to move away, to pull away from a comforting touch, something she hadn't felt in years. But, pull away she did, a sigh on her lips. She made little move to adjust how she was sitting, an absent-minded thought that she must have lowered her legs when he'd hugged her. Her eyes were half-lidded when she looked up at the young man who'd not thought twice to try to comfort her during her fit. There was an appreciation behind her amber eyes for what he'd done, but she wasn't sure how to put into words that he deserved to hear.

[Felix Satou]

He knew their embrace would have to end, but parting was such sweet sorrow! It was good that Pearl didn't feel like crying any more, but he would have definitely enjoyed another five minutes of her face pressed into his shoulder. He wasn't going to complain, though! Instead, he shifted where he was sitting to put himself right next to her, his back against the headboard, his legs stretched out in front of him. He watched her ember colored eyes, ever so slightly bloodshot from her crying, face just a bit damp still. His chest ached at the idea of her crying here alone.

"Well, if you ever want to cry alone with someone else there, you should call me." He hated the idea of crying alone. He hated doing it! Ever since his semblance had developed it had become increasingly difficult for him to be around others without also feeling intense guilt for the misfortunes anyone comforting him would have thrown their way by the universe. When things were really bad, he could reach out, but it had to get bad for that to be the case. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a good cry. Then again, when was the last time he'd had something to have a good cry about? Maybe that was part of growing up too. The things that used to get him bawling just didn't anymore thanks to his abundance of maturity, right? Definitely.

[Pearl Essence]

Felix was a good man, and would be a good huntsman. The thought that being associated with her would lead him to harm, or his family would always be a fear, but it was fear that the grimm fed on. Fear that the monsters of the world exploited to make people feel powerless and defeated. If she could cloak herself in one of her fears, why couldn't she do so with another. She would figure that out later. For now, she shared a tired smile and carefully wiped at her cheeks and eyes with her unsoiled sleeve.

“And I'm sure that offer has absolutely nothing to do with you being the only man still alive who's been able to touch me without getting something broken.” Her gaze drifted away from him and she shook her head. The sudden motion made her eyes cross and a bit of dizziness wash over her. Maybe she was closer to that stupor she'd planned for than she realized. “I will if I ever need another good cry. Hopefully I never need to take you up on that offer, but clearly I don't have as much control over my emotions as I like to act like I do. Tell a soul though, and I'm not going to be worrying about someone else hurting you.” It was a good natured threat, but to some degree she meant it. He'd seen a side of her she wanted kept from the world, hidden away in a vault with no key. Too bad he'd managed to sneak inside first.

[Felix Satou]

"Merely a happy coincidence," Felix was quick to reply. He'd been expecting that one. "Unhappy coincidence, maybe?" It wasn't as if he enjoyed seeing Pearl cry, though he was definitely glad that he could be there for her when she did! "Er, either way, I'm glad you feel like you can trust me to be there for you. I won't let you down. And c'mon, you know I'm not gonna go spreading it around that you're actually capable of emotions beyond anger or irritation, I wouldn't want to ruin your reputation around the school!" He joked, but he was serious about not telling others about Pearl's little breakdown. She wouldn't have had to ask. No one liked airing their own dirty laundry. Who wanted it aired for them?

There was the matter of his sister though. Pearl might not understand how close he was with her. "Would...you be mad if I told Telu, though? I tend to tell her everything reflexively. It's hard not to. We've basically been sharing each others lives since birth, and it's...well, it's impossible for either of us to lie to the other, not that we ever really feel like doing that, but...it'd be obvious. We used to try lying to each other and it never worked. We are capable of not prying into something that shouldn't be pried into, and if I tell her I can't talk about something or just don't share something with her, she'll be cool with that, but...I figured it's probably worth mentioning. Unless you tell me I really shouldn't share something with her, eventually I'll probably share it with her. And, you know, it's totally fine for you to want to share things with me and not with her, I just, uh, might not be able to tell what those things are unless you tell me is all."

[Pearl Essence]

“Glad we're in agreement. I've spent years working on that reputation. I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea, especially because you're so kind-natured they might just believe you.” Though the words left their mouths as a joke, there was a serious intent for her behind them. Her reputation of being difficult to approach, aloof, or irritable when dealing with the other students existed for a reason. Though, he knew that now didn't he. Not only to protect others from getting too close and being put in danger, but... She remembered saying they could one day be enemies. There was no undoing that, but if he'd been bothered, he didn't let it show.

“You're twins, it's better to pretend Telu's sitting right there with you when I tell you something at this point. If,” There was a moment of hesitation and a short sigh, “Rye and Oak taught me anything, it's that you can't expect twins to keep secrets from one another.” A pair of Mistrali twins, as foggy as her mind was, it began to make sense why she'd cracked with Felix here. It was an unpleasant thought that still cut deep. She didn't want to cry again.

“Felix, would you like to do something besides talk about this? Play a song, maybe a game of cards. I'm pretty sure you're lucks shot for a little while at least. We might be able to get a fair game in.” Truly, she didn't care if she played against him with the air alight with twinkling blue stars. It was unlikely they'd be wagering anything that she was uncomfortable with. Another dinner, some lien, or some other unimportant thing for the fun of it. “Even another round of two truths and a lie would be better than dwelling on this.”

[Felix Satou]

Felix quietly giggled at Pearl's half-serious half-joke. She didn't want to let herself get close to others, but...she probably secretly did. She did want to be close to others, but she was afraid of what that might mean for her and for the people who would get close to her. It was a battle and fear had been winning so far. Well...maybe it wasn't winning all the time. She'd let him get close, and maybe she was willing to let his sister in, too. He was glad that she didn't mind him sharing with his sister. It would have been really complicated and awkward to have had to tell Telu there were things about Pearl she couldn't know. Hopefully those two would get along well as time went on. At least their first meeting had been smooth!

"You'd be surprised how quickly my mood can turn around. I've gotten pretty good at getting myself out of a funk. I was upset because you were upset, and...it's really hard for me to not feel something when people I...really care about are hurting. But, y'know, if you're not actually crying right into my shoulder it's easier not to feel bad. Why would I be upset when I'm getting to spend time with the coolest girl I've met at Beacon, huh?" He eyed the guitar he'd brought. "I could be convinced to play some music. Got any requests?"