Sean McCabe

[Sean McCabe]

Both Sean and myself have reached the age of majority (we're both 18+).

I've been roleplaying for a while now. Looking forward to doing so here as well!

[Bastion Sandstone]

I like Sean McCabe(although the name for me doesn't evoke any color-feelys, might want to work on that(unless McCabe is something colorful)), but one question I have is his weapons. A heavy hammer and a Kukuri. He's short and an acrobat, meaning he'll need both hands on the heavy hammer unless it's short handled like Thor's hammer, which is not stated. The Kukuri is cool, but the boomerang thing leaves one question: Actual boomerang style? Throwing it high into the air to come crashing down woth lethal force on the target? Or cartoon boomerang of throwing it and it slicing people before returning to you?

That's all, and you got my vote!

[SheidelII]

Sean McCabe's Semblance, Heart of Iron, could do with more detail. Is there a cooldown needed before he is able to use it again? Is it set for only 2-minute intervals, or is that the maximum amount of time he can stay in that form? I'd like to know if the effects can be used in shorter intervals up to those 2 minutes or not. Putting what I just said aside though, this Semblance sounds more like Aura+ as Aura already has protective properties that does everything that Heart of Iron does and more consistently. Sean's Semblance seems to open him up to certain attack types while strengthening him against others, so maybe emphasizing that would help make it more distinct.

The other aspect of this character I want to focus on is his acrobatics. His choice of weapon, a large warhammer, doesn't seem fitting at all for someone whose combat style is about "constant, fluid rotational motion". It's true that the wind up of warhammers benefits greatly from large arcing swings to deal big hits, but the problem is how heavy and slow it is. With how big it's described, I'm having trouble seeing Sean use Per as you envision him. Dual wielding such a weapon alongside another also makes it harder to believe. I could understand using Severance as a side weapon, but Per takes up a lot of commitment to wield as it is.

I don't see how Sean's short stature is a weakness in regards to his running or climbing abilities considering his athleticism and acrobatic self, but that is a personal view.

In short, I think some more work is needed before I can approve this character sheet.

[Sean McCabe]

I can't believe I missed the 'his hammer has a short handle because he's also short' part! The hammer itself is half as tall as he is, and its head is about twice the size of his own head, though it's a rectangular prism in shape rather than an ovoidal spheroid (or whatever other shape). The handle of Severance is a little bit shorter than the picture suggests.

And yes, Bastian, precisely like a real boomerang!

Sean's Semblance was actually the thing I was least set-upon in his profile. I wasn't sure I wanted to make his Semblance come with such a strong built-in weakness, though that might make it all the more useful of an RP-tool. After giving it some more thought, I've decided to go with a cooldown on it as well, which allows more flexibility in the timing of its use as well. What are your thoughts?

[Myron Hyles]

I'm hesitating so I'll refrain from voting for now.

First and foremost, I like the color naming rule like Bastion so I'll say Sean is close to Ocean which obviously checks that box. It's just for argument's sake though.

I like the different elements separately, but I feel like they don't belong together.
The problem with Per isn't its length so much as its weight. If it's a "heavy hammer", it'll shift Sean's center of mass significantly, and make it pretty hard to use with an acrobatic fighting style... Imagine backflipping with a dead weight hanging at arm's length, while it might give him momentum, moving around would be awkward. Plus he's short, so the effect is even more important.

His Semblance doesn't seem to suit his fighting style either. He could still be agile with metallic skin, but the added weight poses the same problem as before...
However, his Semblance doesn't need to fit his style, in fact it might turn out well in rp. A defensive Semblance for an evasive fighter can be a bad surprise in a fight.

It's more the weapon that bothers me.

[Bastion Sandstone]

If you are having trouble thinking of a semblance, I have to agree with Myron that the semblance doesn't quite fit an acrobat. You state for his personality that he has too much energy. What if it was some sort of a speed semblance, or something to do with energy? Heck, as an acrobat, it could be something like rubber bones or being able to step on solid air or something of the sort.

After reading what Sheid and Myron have to say, I do agree that a heavy hammer, especially if it is half as tall as he is(that's not a short handle, a short handle would be a foot long or smaller), doesn't really work with this acrobatic style. One of them should to change. A more balanced weapon would work for someone who's going to do lots of flips and twirls and running up walls. Two Kukuri would work, or some sort of staff.

Or, you change his acrobaticness to something more stable. That would work with the hammmer(although I think you'd still need to decide if he has two hands on it or one, and thus a shorter handle) and the semblance you have for him, but I still feel like the semblance could use some depth.

[SheidelII]

A normal-sized warhammer can work since they can be easily wielded one-handed, and were quite commonly handled as such. There's definitely potential in using a warhammer with acrobatic, fluid rotations. The spike that warhammers have can definitely be useful in movement options, like helping Sean climb obstacles or dig into something to create footholds for maneuvering on something or someone. It'd be a useful tool for an acrobat to have. The small stature can be made into an advantage by hooking onto someone and throwing his weight around to mess with their balance.

If you're set on Sean McCabe having a warhammer, it is doable.

[Bastion Sandstone]

I was thinking so much of just a brick on a stick, I spaced about normal actual warhammers with their small heads and spikes to pierce armor. Yeah, that would work wonders for an acrobat to still be light on their feet and, with twirls, deal devestating blows.

[Sean McCabe]

Can I get some votes (either Yea or Nay) from y'all so I know what I have to work on still for Sean?

[Bastion Sandstone]

I honestly like how simple and short and concise the entire profile is. Nice. I like the changes as well. The semblance I'm still iffy on whether it suits him well or not, it seems like an idea you had and slapped it on him. He's fast and twirly, and then having indestructible skin just doesn't seem like him. Becoming even faster, being able to leap dozens of meters or something that helps what he does already and links to his personality would be far better than his current Heart of Iron. I mean, from his profile, there is nothing to suggest he even has a heart of gold, and he's not particularly valiant to say he has a heart of iron.

Maybe other people are ok with this, especially because it's just a freelance character, but I still am going to say 'No' based on the above.

[Carmine Crest]

The heavy weapons and semblance does clash against his personality and fighting style and while the weapons can be used in the style as you have done, I have to agree with Bastion about the semblance being a complete mismatch for Sean, the closest thing you can say that matches Sean is that he still wants to get into trouble and whatnot implying some form of perseverance like metal unchanging despite being struck but even then that's a huge stretch because it seems more like he is only doing it and hoping to do it for the fun and "acrobatic chaos" rather than some sort of determination of the sort.

And while this problem is minor compared to the personality/semblance clash, I'd still like to point out that the outfit description is far too vague with the only guide being tight fitting for combat and loose in other situations meaning a speedo could technically be what he wears to combat and a long robe for noncombat situations.

For the reasons outlined, I'm going to have to give it a no.

[Colors of Remnant]

As per the rules, I am locking this thread at 3 no votes. Please take some time to look over the feedback you've received and make some adjustments, then make a new approval thread once you're ready!