Two-Tailed Fox (Private w/ Pearl Essence)

[Nym Magenta]

Had she resolved the problem? Oh yes, the problem had long since been resolved. Not only had they ended up moving past it, they'd moved in the best direction they could have. A grin tugged at the corner of Nym's mouth and her tail flicked in excitement at the thought the prompted her lips to move. "Yeah, y'could say that," her words were honeyed with contentment as her mind reflected on it. How much did she really feel like sharing? Well, everything, really, because it wasn't a secret that her and Ax were a pair. People had been saying they were attached at the hip for a while, now they were actually right.

"We made up. Ended up talkin' it out, n' then..." Nym sighed dreamily. "Ended up doin' a lot more than talkin' actually. We f-...uh...hm. Well, you prob'ly don' wanna 'ear me wax nostalgic 'bout the details, but...gen'rally, I think 'm the 'appiest I've ever been in me whole bloody life right about now." She'd remembered Pearl's words. The fox had been right. Her guess had been quite close to the truth, though, Nym had a hard time believing it was because of much more than luck. Pearl barely knew Nym and didn't know Ax at all when things had been happening. Still, luck or not, she'd been right. "Hit a bloody bullseye with yer guess back at the concert, ya know. Might'a been too high t'rememba', but'cha told me things'd come 'round n' they did. Which...is bloody lucky fer me, 'cuz I don' think I would'a stopped bein' in love with 'er even if she 'adn't."

[Pearl Essence]

While the stories of fairy tale romance and the idea of being up to settle down with her own happy little family seemed ever more unlikely, it warmed her heart to hear that Nym's own trouble with romance had been settled. Her cheeks warmed as well and her eyes widened slightly as the girl let slip a hint of just how well it had gone. “O-oh that's good. Very good. I'm glad it went...so well.” It was only natural that if her advice had really helped things might go that way. She supposed in reality it wasn't the first time she might have had a slight hand in someone else having an intimate liaison, romantic or otherwise. One of the first steps in making her people safer had been setting Cherry loose on making a safer place for men and women who worked the streets to ply their trade.

“I was smoking the wrong thing if I didn't want to remember, but I wouldn't have wanted to forget the band that played.” She said it with a hint of a laugh and shook her head. No, there were better things to help her forget. “I'm glad I was able to share some personal insight to help. I'd like to think our lives are richer and more vibrant with passion in them.” The passion with which she lived her life didn't seem as fulfilling as that which Nym had found, but she didn't resent the girl for finding it. Pearl took the final bite of her meal and fought the urge to sigh. Helping someone else find it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as she'd hoped, though she didn't resent Nym for her happiness.

[Nym Magenta]

The unflappable Pearl was flappable after all! The color on her pale cheeks was impossible to miss and it brought a bright laugh to Nym's lips. Thankfully, Pearl seemed pleased by the news that things had worked out well. Had Pearl's insight really helped? It was hard to tell. Things had been such a mess. Her days had been a blur of skipping class, drinking, and other poor decisions. She was still paying for it even now! Hopefully, it wouldn't continue to dog her forever. This particular class was looking good with Pearl's help. Maybe in some way her words had helped Nym then. She hadn't had much to give herself hope. Anything at all, even the kind words of someone who hardly knew her would have been better than nothing.

Nym raised an eyebrow and cocked an ear at Pearl's mention of passion. "Too right, eh? So, I dished, now you. You got some passion in yer life? Boy or girl you feel like makes yer life richa'? Maybe feel like, uh, doin' more than talkin' with?" Nym gave Pearl's arm a harmless jab with her elbow as she asked the question. She didn't know much about Pearl, but she did want to learn more. This seemed like a great chance to start! Pearl didn't owe her a response just because Nym was eager to talk about her success with Ax, but maybe she wouldn't mind sharing anyways. The girl didn't look like she had many people to talk to about 'passion' and it could be fun to tell other people about the things you were passionate about.

[Pearl Essence]

With their meal finished, there wasn't much reason to not get started on their project, but even with time being such a valuable thing for her, Pearl couldn't bring herself to pull out her notebook yet. Nor could she bring herself to dissuade Nym from her own targeted question accompanied by a jab from the girl's elbow that caused her to sway slightly. Her attention was on the mostly empty box with little more than discarded squares of paper that had been on the bottom of her buns. Maybe she was due for a talk with Dr. Nestor if staring at an empty box felt relatable. Maybe she'd been less accepting of putting her dreams of love on hold than she'd thought?

“Is there anyone?” Pearl blew out a short breath of air and let her gaze drift upwards to the clouds. It was easy to imagine the faces of those people who enriched her life, but the truth was, every one of them answered to her in some way. They worked for her even if they'd bled for one another. “I suppose there's people who do make my life richer. Men and women both, but none quite like what you mean.” Her mind wandered, puzzlement written on her face. Even the closest person to being on the mark for what Nym had suggested was still no where near that actual mark. He was a good man and a better friend but would he have answered differently? Somewhere in her gut, she suspected he might. Would he if he knew her better, knew who she really was?

A short and bitter laugh left her before she could stop it. “Sorry, but no, I can't say there's anyone or anything that sparks that kind of interest in me, and the interest others might in me have is likely a passing thing.” She was a pretty porcelain doll on a high shelf. Something to collect and keep until someone found the cracks and breaks in her. No, she was a broken thing, and it was better if no one had the opportunity to look too close.

[Nym Magenta]

Nym decided quickly that she didn't like Pearl's answer at all. Her laugh was devoid of warmth or mirth. The way she talked about herself, as if others could only ever have a passing interest in her felt like it was a slap in the face for both of them. She furrowed her brow. Was that a challenge? Well, no, it wasn't a challenge, it was the sort of negative self talk that Nym was prone to saying. It had been true for years, right up until it wasn't. "I don' think that's true." Nym pushed herself up into a better sitting position so she could give Pearl her full attention while they talked. "Yer really smart, Pearl, and compassionate too. That much's been bloody obvious. Yer bloody strong. Don' think I can't tell 'ow much 'urt y'can put on someone jus' lookin' at those guns attached t'yer shoulders." She'd just jabbed them a second ago and they were clearly not just for show! Pearl was serious about her training here. Nym was certain if she reached over and pulled up the front of her clothes to check out her stomach, the last thing she'd see before she died was a solid six pack.

"And look 'ow good we're gettin' on right now, eh? Don' think yer as much of a cactus as ya let on. 'Specially afta' 'ow bad our introduction was. Dunno 'ow it could'a gone worse 'nless I'd tried sluggin' ya, heh. Cute, strong, smart, funny, kind, I know I 'ave more'n just a passin' interest in ya. Bet I ain't the only one, too. Ain't always easy t' tell who's fer real n' who ain't, I get that, but..." Nym pursed her lips to the side. "Yer the whole package Pearl n' anyone'd be lucky t' make yer 'eart skip a beat." It was nearly offensive to hear her say something that spoke so little of her! It was a line of thinking that was easy to fall victim too. As good as Nym had become at giving herself more credit, she still succumbed to it. The one thing that had always helped her was hearing it from someone else. Maybe Pearl could stand to hear it from someone else, too.

[Pearl Essence]

Metal fingers moved careful precision bending cardboard and folding the sides of the empty box flat until it was compact enough to easily be discarded. There was a temptation to let a silver fire burn along her fingertips, changing the material in a way to let it crumble to powder over the grass and soil... It served a purpose, a small distraction as she paid the cost for unsolicited advice. It always came back in kind. Those who had been helped were often eager to help their helpers, whether out of pride or a genuine need to not let a debt go unpaid. It was that mindset that let her favors come back when she most needed them. Right now though, she found herself trying to find a way to make it clear to Nym that she had the wrong idea.

Pearl shook her head in disagreement, though not quite in disagreement with what was being said. “I know you mean well, but you've misunderstood what I mean. I don't need to be reminded of the good in me. It's not that I don't see any value in myself. I know my value down to the very last lien so to speak. I know where the ledger turns red, and I know just how red it runs.” Pearl furrowed her brow as she folded the boxes edges in one last time. Any more and cardboard would begin to tear. At least it would fit in her bag until they found a bin. “It's not about feeling as if I have no value. It's about knowing where my value lies, and that's not where it is.”

[Nym Magenta]

Pearl's choice of words was too vague! What was she talking about with ledgers and lien? The value of a person couldn't be written down on a piece of paper. This was probably a subject that she didn't want to delve too deeply into if she was trying this hard to keep it abstract. Was she touchy about how other people felt about her? Was she self conscious about romantic stuff? The blush that had come to her cheeks when Nym had mentioned it at all seemed to suggest she could be easily embarrassed. Making headway with her was going to be a difficult task when they barely knew each other, but Nym didn't want to leave it at that.

"I...guess I kinda get it, Pearl, but...uh..." How did she say it in the same vein as the metaphor? "Y'can't really know 'ow otha' people'r gonna...uh...evaluate yer ledga'. Things you might think'd putcha in the red fer everyone might not matta' at all t' the right person." Nym leaned back against the bench. "You eva' tried showin' people the red?" The question was asked without judgment or pretense. Her voice wasn't pointed. She wasn't trying to catch Pearl and prove to her how ignorant she was. Nym just wanted to know her a little better. Maybe she was still misunderstanding her, but she didn't want to, and the only way to clear up a misunderstanding was to ask. She was starting to get the impression that Pearl had parts of herself she didn't want to show anyone. The way she talked about parts of her 'ledger running red' made Nym think of some of the things she'd done, things she thought would have made even the staunchest ally, the closest friend abandon her.

But she'd shared those parts of her and she wasn't alone. Had Pearl ever had someone she could share that with? Not everyone was as lucky as Nym.

[Pearl Essence]

This girl was stubborn. Annoyingly so, but at the same time she still tried to ask more questions in the same words Pearl had used. A metaphor let her keep things vague while speaking as close to the truth as possible without spelling it out. If anything her need to stubbornly push forward while trying to respect the walls Pearl kept up reminded her of a few of the people she'd come to like the most in this place. Maybe Nym was at least right about how they were getting along. It helped make the thought of answering her question easier, and would keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Pearl stowed away the empty box and switched it out for her notebook for Professor Valiente's class, hopefully a clear sign that she intended to get back to work on the project after this question was answered. “Have I ever showed or told someone what's in my ledger? Only my current psychiatrist and therapist, but there are still other people who know some of what's in it. Just some, and it's enough to make people angry, fearful, or just outright disgusted.” Two out of her three psychiatrists had decided they couldn't even handle her... It had taken a former huntress who had turned to the profession to handle what had come her way.

She opened the notebook without really looked at it, her fingers moving page after page of designs and notes from various projects or assignments from the class. “There's more, but let's just leave it at that. I know who I am, and right now I'm supposed to be the young woman helping you with a project so you can ace this class.” Pearl wore her smile like a mask as she found an empty page and put a pencil to paper. It served to hide that whether it was her broken nature, or the red in her ledger she could easily imagine the reaction of some good friends finding out.

[Nym Magenta]

Aha! So she had! And, while Pearl was quick to say how others had harshly judged her, she did let slip the fact that she was still on speaking terms with at least one person who had heard about the things she didn't want to share. Granted, this person's job was to listen to those types of things and help, but the fact remained! There were people out there who were willing to listen to her without passing judgment. Nym felt confident that she was one of those people, but how was she supposed to convince Pearl of that in one or two conversations, especially after how badly their first had gone? Nym wasn't eager to share the red in her own ledger with even her closest friends. It was going to take some time.

"See? There's at least one person who ain't wantin' nothin' t'do with you. There's gonna be otha's out there." But Nym could take a hint. She could see the message. The fake smile on Pearl's face wasn't fooling her, it wasn't a show of genuine happiness. It was the politest way that Pearl could ask her not to keep talking about this anymore, and Nym wasn't so dumb as to keep pushing her into a corner, so before Pearl could try to explain further or ward off any other attempts Nym had at prodding her, she clarified. "But we don' gotta talk about that. I think yer gonna be doin' plenty'a humorin' me while we're workin' on this project anyways, eh?" And she reached for her own notebook as well.