I have made adjustments based on feedback and changed her semblance entirely. Please take the time to read over and see if she is rp ready.
1. Are you 18 or older? We want to know if anyone is under 18 years of age. Being under 18 will not bar you from participating in our community. Rather, this will allow us to gauge who is acting inappropriately toward minors.
Yep, I am 28 next month.
2. Do you have past experience with collaborative writing or roleplay, and if so, roughly how much? You can be brief. This is intended to help us provide useful feedback in your approval.
Yes. I ran several characters on the old RWBY rp site and I currently run Erin Cherrywood.
3. You may include an optional (SHORT!) Roleplay sample for people to read that gives a feel for your character in writing.
Lillia skidded to a stop in front of the water fountain in the center of the walkway. Shivering with excitement she looked around to make sure the coast was clear before throwing caution the wind and leaping into the fountain. A squeal of delight burst out of her lips and she leaned over and started throwing the water all over. This was the best day ever!
Lillia Prism
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Lillia Prism
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 1:41 am
- Age: 17
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus - webbed toes
- Aura Color: Fushia
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Hype Man
- Weapon Name: Mercy Striker
Last edited by Lillia Prism on Wed Mar 03, 2021 10:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Bastion Sandstone
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2020 11:45 pm
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Sandy-tan
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: True Grit
- Weapon Name: Diplomacy
The whole of it is short but concise. Don't need a novel when a page will do it. For a Freelancer I think this works just fine. Yes.
Bastion tries to keep the peace in FFBF00
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Myron Hyles
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2020 4:58 am
- Age: 18
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Turquoise
- Occupation: Student
- Semblance Name: Sleeping Spell
- Weapon Name: 40 Winks
You have a thing for migraine-inducing Semblances, it seems...
I have some gripes with her backstory and Semblance, but not enough for a No so I'll hold back my vote.
Firstly, Lillia's story seems a tad rushed compared to the rest, with a few typos (the "human invasions" one had me scratching my head) and no continuity. I'm not against short and peaceful backstories, but you raise interesting points that you don't develop : why is her dad passing as human ? Did her parents tell her to keep it quiet too ? She wants glory and adventure, did something trigger that ? She'd rather not show her seamstress skills, is there a reason ?
Maybe you left these in the air intentionally, but in comparison, Erin's backstory (which is kind of similar because she was mostly kept away from the threat of Grimm) is full of good reasons for her personality and outlook. I feel like it could be so much better with just a little more.
Second, the last part about her Semblance bothers me a bit, because the "aura shield" doesn't seem to have anything to do with augmenting her hearing. Wouldn't it be better to say she can control her hearing (so increase and decrease her hearing at will) ?
It's a small concern, though. My main one is with her backstory.
(I checked Yes like an idiot please don't mention it)
I have some gripes with her backstory and Semblance, but not enough for a No so I'll hold back my vote.
Firstly, Lillia's story seems a tad rushed compared to the rest, with a few typos (the "human invasions" one had me scratching my head) and no continuity. I'm not against short and peaceful backstories, but you raise interesting points that you don't develop : why is her dad passing as human ? Did her parents tell her to keep it quiet too ? She wants glory and adventure, did something trigger that ? She'd rather not show her seamstress skills, is there a reason ?
Maybe you left these in the air intentionally, but in comparison, Erin's backstory (which is kind of similar because she was mostly kept away from the threat of Grimm) is full of good reasons for her personality and outlook. I feel like it could be so much better with just a little more.
Second, the last part about her Semblance bothers me a bit, because the "aura shield" doesn't seem to have anything to do with augmenting her hearing. Wouldn't it be better to say she can control her hearing (so increase and decrease her hearing at will) ?
It's a small concern, though. My main one is with her backstory.
(I checked Yes like an idiot please don't mention it)
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Lillia Prism
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 1:41 am
- Age: 17
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus - webbed toes
- Aura Color: Fushia
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Hype Man
- Weapon Name: Mercy Striker
No worries Myron. I feel like I needed more but I couldn't figure out what at the time. I'll make the necessary adjustments and post when I've changed them. Thank you for the feedback.
Update - I have made quite a few changes and updates based on feedback as far as her backstory and semblance go. Please let me know if you think I should any other details.
Update - I have made quite a few changes and updates based on feedback as far as her backstory and semblance go. Please let me know if you think I should any other details.
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Al Ciendra
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2021 5:13 am
- Age: 18
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus (Wolf-Ears and Fangs)
- Aura Color: Orange
- Occupation: Beacon Student
- Semblance Name: Volcanic Heart
- Weapon Name: Arcum and Gladio
Short and Sweet I like Lillia.
Having a short ranged weapon that relies on something like poison rather than raw physical strength like you'd expect a Halbert would is a really nice touch.
While her semblance is a bit confusing still (probably just me not understanding it fully) it does sound very cool.
Would be fun to have an overcharged Al just scorch a forest or something xD
Anyway, she got a yes from me!
Having a short ranged weapon that relies on something like poison rather than raw physical strength like you'd expect a Halbert would is a really nice touch.
While her semblance is a bit confusing still (probably just me not understanding it fully) it does sound very cool.
Would be fun to have an overcharged Al just scorch a forest or something xD
Anyway, she got a yes from me!
Al chatters in #FF5500