Colors of Remnant

As for personal info im 24
and ive been roleplaying for 7 years plus 2 years tabletop
Dont hesitate to holler if i did something wrong

I think overall everything is pretty good, the only real concern i have is with the semblance. The enhanced senses part I think works fine, what confuses me the stamina and speed part. Partially because enhanced stamina and speed feel more along the lines of base aura abilities( at least to me, feel free to disagree) , the other part is probably me overthinking but specifically using a cheetah for your example seemed off since your semblance says it gives them stamina and speed but cheetah's as far as i know are not known for their stamina if anything it's the opposite where they're fast but lack to the endurance to maintain for long.

if I'm missing or miss read anything please clarify otherwise i am going to hold off on my vote until then, again just to clarify everything i read seems good to me.

Eiji has a solid foundation and is definitly an interesting character, a rugged and plain uncivilized guy trying to interact with a modern setting is always fun.

But as much at fits him, I think Eiji's profile is a bit too rough around the edges to give a yes.

For some reason you list his bow in other gear, I think you could put it up there along with his spear and shield.

Speaking of which, I like the idea of a guy just walking up with a wood and stone spear but think thats a bit too...unrwby ?
I'm aware hunters can strenghten their weapons via aura, but wooden weponary just seems like a horrendus fit for a setting where they are subjected to constant wear and tear.

My suggestion is that Eiji simply kept his parents weapons as a memorial to remember them by and picked up simple yet still modernized copies of them to fight with.

As Castor mentioned, his semblance buffing speed and stamina could probably be clarified to give an addiotional boost besides the basic one hunters can draw on from using aura.

I would also like to see some numbers, give us an estimate by how much each aspect gets buffed.

And one last thing, why did you list strength and weakness in Strength and Weaknesses section ?

Either way, I'll be holding off on voting until the things I and others mentioned are adressed.

Eiji is a bit rough around the edges, like people have said. And as I am ok with him coming in with such rudimentary weapons, it would be nice to see him upgrade, especially in a Huntsman school where you can literally make your own weapons.

His semblance is pretty much just everything Aura does but more, which I think in the rules page it says to avoid, and I think for a hunter something else could be used for Apex. Hunters and Predators rely on stealth to sneak up, speed to surprise their prey, and mobility for the chase. Stealth, speed, mobility. Think of video games or books or shows that have characters use abilities that could work for these. Invisibility, chameleon cloaking, quick dashes, shrinking/enlarging size(?), grappling hooks, natural weapons such as claws made from Aura, any of these could be more fun to play with, I think, than simple upgraded base stats.

Also, only a little tidbit, why on a continent that has a tropical third, would a family stay on the desert part and be simple hunter gatherers? There could be history with the parents and wanting to leave and that's fine, but I just wonder why they chose the hard life of the desert, alone, with no tribe or group instead of the rich and plentiful side.

Nothing agregious, so I'm not voting no, I'll abstain until further developments.

I appreciate the feedback; I've changed the semblance and added some other stuff to the profile if ya'll wanna take a look.

I think the changes improves it overall enough to give it a yes, though I do feel you can expand on your semblance. Such as instead of just claws your semblance can encompass multiple/different animal appendages and grant benefits' depending which animal the aura is using.

Some examples
1. bird wings for flight
2. spider legs for climbing walls
3. lizard tail for smacking
4. horns for stabbing
5. bat ears for sonar

could argue he can (either atm due to lack or training of by design) only use one apex trait at a time ? Just a thought but if you want to focus entirely on just claws then maybe just give the option to change what kind of claws apex turns into could also be an option.

hope this helps

Castor Achromos wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 19, 2023 7:18 am

I think the changes improves it overall enough to give it a yes, though I do feel you can expand on your semblance. Such as instead of just claws your semblance can encompass multiple/different animal appendages and grant benefits' depending which animal the aura is using.

Some examples
1. bird wings for flight
2. spider legs for climbing walls
3. lizard tail for smacking
4. horns for stabbing
5. bat ears for sonar

could argue he can (either atm due to lack or training of by design) only use one apex trait at a time ? Just a thought but if you want to focus entirely on just claws then maybe just give the option to change what kind of claws apex turns into could also be an option.

hope this helps

thats a great idea! Ill be using that, i appreciate it!

After his third revision, Eiji looks like a solid character, I really do like the changes you've made.
Thank you for being so open to our feedback

His new semblance does have a lot of cool effects already and with him still learning to use it could make for some really fun and interesting new additions.
I'm looking to see Eiji take on this new challange that is Beacon.

Tldr: hell yes!

Eiji seems interesting. He is certainly a breath a fresh air around the forum due to the primal hunter tone in his design. It makes me want to know more about the guy.
I can say that the additions you made have really fleshed out the character.
With that I'll gladly give my yes aswell and hope to see him in action soon.

With three votes in favor, Eiji is officially approved for roleplay! This thread will now be locked and moved to Approval Archives.