Colors of Remnant

1. Are you 18 or older?
Yes, I am in my twenties.

2. Do you have past experience with collaborative writing or roleplay, and if so, roughly how much?
The closest I've come to being part of a writing or roleplay community is back during the days of Gaia online, but that was when I was like twelve so I doubt it was as good as I think it was.

3. You may include an optional (SHORT!) Roleplay sample for people to read that gives a feel for your character in writing.

Pyry stood on top of the stone wall that marked the border of Beacon and eyed the activity of its inhabitants. He was eager to jump in and get to know some cuties but he also wanted to survey the area. Shifting from foot to foot he decided the best way to get to know the area was to talk to the locals, aka upperclassmen. "Upperclasswomen." He chuckled to himself. Without a second thought he leapt from the wall and began to make his way to the gardens.

He knew he should be focusing on getting settled or memorizing the layout of the school but there would be time for that later, for now he just wanted to bask in the laid-back atmosphere that was Beacon. Kuchinashi wasn't the kind of place where one could ever relax; there was always a threat of being robbed, beaten, or swindled. Beacon was so bright and cheerful that it almost hurt his eyes, but he wasn't about to miss out on the chance to have some fun before becoming a hero.

Likes:
- Fighting
- Working out
- Making flower crowns

I'm not hating, I absolutely love that. The little details in Pyry's profile show that you've put a lot care into defining the nuances of your character. For example, justifying one of his strengths (a heavy emphasis on physical aggression) with a weakness (near-sightedness) is, to me, great writing.

There's one small point that I'd like to raise before comfortably voting Yes:

- "A small Beowulf skull on his left shoulder - the first Grimm he defeated by himself." As far as I'm aware, Grimm bodies always disintegrate upon death. Do you have any examples of the contrary being true? Professor Port does own a Grimm skull in the show, though the World of Remnant episode that discusses Grimm mentions that he has a taxidermic recreation rather than the real thing. If a Grimm skull/skeleton exists canonically then I'll happily rescind this point of feedback. It's a small detail but one that sets an important worldbuilding precedent, even if it's just for a freelance character.

I like your writing example; while it is short, it allowed me to get a good feel for how you're trying to portray your character which, personally, is more important than quantity or quality. If you would like to, it would be interesting to see Pyry portrayed in a slightly more drawn piece of writing; a short scene that serves to achieve a small goal, even if it's something as simple as a brief interaction with an NPC. That said, the writing example isn't withholding my vote (though it may for others).

According to the RWBY wiki, "When a Grimm dies, they evaporate into black smoke, leaving only their white bone armor behind." I'm not sure if that counts as fact or not though so I'll just adjust and say it's a model to honor his first kill.

I'll go ahead and add more to the sample then. Thank you for the feedback.

I also like the strengths being connected to weaknesses and I see you addressed the whole skull thing mentioned by Ava already so I'll go ahead and say yes.

Also, totally random, but it's kind of nice to see a new human since so many of us are faunus -laughs-

Pyry Ward wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 28, 2021 9:48 pm

According to the RWBY wiki, "When a Grimm dies, they evaporate into black smoke, leaving only their white bone armor behind." I'm not sure if that counts as fact or not though so I'll just adjust and say it's a model to honor his first kill.

I'll go ahead and add more to the sample then. Thank you for the feedback.

With this changed, I'll update my vote to Yes. Hope that we cross paths at some point!

Pryry looks like a super fun character to have here.
He just radiates a "fun" energy to me, especially since you've written such a nice and consice profile.
The style of his clothing is certainly quiet unique on this forum and he will certainly turn some heads.

The only ever so tiny nitpick I have is the "gladiator" sandals, since I'm not sure if gladiators exist in universe.
Buuuut since that's just really a minor nitpick you get yourself another yes vote.

Hey you! Yeah the guy wearing... sandles? I can appreciate a man who goes after the glorious woman!

I vote Yes