Chain and I are both legal adults (we're both 18+).
I've been doing roleplay for a while now, and I'm excited to get started here!
Chain Dupp
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Chain Dupp
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:51 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Black
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Edge of Tomorrow
- Weapon Name: Blade of Today
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Bastion Sandstone
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2020 11:45 pm
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Sandy-tan
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: True Grit
- Weapon Name: Diplomacy
Voting yes. I like the pun in the name, the parent's were very clever with that. Also their restaurant should be called "All Curry Dupp" or something similar, haha.
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SheidelII
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2020 10:47 pm
- Age: 0
- Gender Identity: Male
- Occupation:
Minor, but could you move his necklace into Outfit Description and out of Physical Description?
Besides that, his Semblance: Edge of Tomorrow, needs more defined limits. The ability of being able to hold an entity in place is fine, but methods to defend against it should be detailed to some degree. "Blinking" should be expanded to "breaking eye contact", just so there's some more room for interpretation. Things like blinding Chain Dupp with flashbangs or throwing dust in his eyes become ways to interact with it besides just being forced to endure it. Allowing people to channel their Aura as a way to fight back against its effects would also be something I'd recommend including. As it is, it has too much "absoluteness" to it.
The drawbacks need some more expansion besides drying out his eyes. The drain it puts on his Aura, for one, must be included. Channeling its effect should translate to a constant drain on his Aura. I also feel that Chain's Semblance and the target it interacts with could do with some more information. Does the size of the target affect how much Aura his Semblance drains to use, such as small things needing less while larger things require more? Is there an effective range that Edge of Tomorrow operates in? Is there a distance where no effect is had? Does it lose strength with distance from Chain? These are just some things to consider.
It's a slim character sheet, but I don't find much to point out besides Edge of Tomorrow. I can't give my approval without more work towards detailing the mechanics of Chain's Semblance, so it's a 'No' for now.
Besides that, his Semblance: Edge of Tomorrow, needs more defined limits. The ability of being able to hold an entity in place is fine, but methods to defend against it should be detailed to some degree. "Blinking" should be expanded to "breaking eye contact", just so there's some more room for interpretation. Things like blinding Chain Dupp with flashbangs or throwing dust in his eyes become ways to interact with it besides just being forced to endure it. Allowing people to channel their Aura as a way to fight back against its effects would also be something I'd recommend including. As it is, it has too much "absoluteness" to it.
The drawbacks need some more expansion besides drying out his eyes. The drain it puts on his Aura, for one, must be included. Channeling its effect should translate to a constant drain on his Aura. I also feel that Chain's Semblance and the target it interacts with could do with some more information. Does the size of the target affect how much Aura his Semblance drains to use, such as small things needing less while larger things require more? Is there an effective range that Edge of Tomorrow operates in? Is there a distance where no effect is had? Does it lose strength with distance from Chain? These are just some things to consider.
It's a slim character sheet, but I don't find much to point out besides Edge of Tomorrow. I can't give my approval without more work towards detailing the mechanics of Chain's Semblance, so it's a 'No' for now.
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Chain Dupp
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:51 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Black
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Edge of Tomorrow
- Weapon Name: Blade of Today
You're quite right that blinking alone isn't restrictive enough of a drawback. I like the eye-contact idea.
As to cost, let's see... how does a linearly-scaling cost increase per unit time, as well as scaling based on size and distance, sound?
I've also included a sentence about the effect on nonliving things.
As to cost, let's see... how does a linearly-scaling cost increase per unit time, as well as scaling based on size and distance, sound?
I've also included a sentence about the effect on nonliving things.
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Myron Hyles
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2020 4:58 am
- Age: 18
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Turquoise
- Occupation: Student
- Semblance Name: Sleeping Spell
- Weapon Name: 40 Winks
I don't know if there is any standard regarding background here, but it's definitely short.
It's a hard No for me, solely because of Edge of Tomorrow. No matter how much Aura it costs, freezing someone by look alone is too much. This essentially makes him the god of melee, with other benefits on the side.
He's about to be hit ? Quick freeze to dodge and relatiate. Staggered ? Freeze and get back on his feet.
Huntsmen rely heavily on movement, even five seconds of immobility would probably be enough to shatter someone's Aura.
There's a similar Semblance in the show, but its limit is that the user has to stay put, and it takes a bit more to activate it.
It's a hard No for me, solely because of Edge of Tomorrow. No matter how much Aura it costs, freezing someone by look alone is too much. This essentially makes him the god of melee, with other benefits on the side.
He's about to be hit ? Quick freeze to dodge and relatiate. Staggered ? Freeze and get back on his feet.
Huntsmen rely heavily on movement, even five seconds of immobility would probably be enough to shatter someone's Aura.
There's a similar Semblance in the show, but its limit is that the user has to stay put, and it takes a bit more to activate it.
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Chain Dupp
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:51 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Black
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Edge of Tomorrow
- Weapon Name: Blade of Today
I could throw in an anecdote about some random incident in his past to make his backstory longer, but it wouldn't be relevant to either his motivation for becoming a Huntsman or his formative years, so it wouldn't be of any narrative use later. I can always make it longer once things about his past are brought to light in RP.
I suppose there isn't any real reason to insist on it being as "stop right there" as it currently is (though I DID make his Semblance before we ever met the Ace Ops) - making it affect everything the same across the board (living or nonliving) by just slowing them down would be fine, though I would like to preserve it's utility as a 'get away from me' ability as much as possible by capping it at 'near-frozen' at extreme proximity.
I suppose there isn't any real reason to insist on it being as "stop right there" as it currently is (though I DID make his Semblance before we ever met the Ace Ops) - making it affect everything the same across the board (living or nonliving) by just slowing them down would be fine, though I would like to preserve it's utility as a 'get away from me' ability as much as possible by capping it at 'near-frozen' at extreme proximity.
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Carmine Crest
- Posts: 53
- Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 3:48 am
- Age: 17
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Gray
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Crisis Control
- Weapon Name: Cadel and Maria
While there is some charm to be found in small and simple profiles since it allows the writer to develop and flesh out the character naturally, the severe lack of any sort of details is ultimately what makes this into a no for me.
I understand that not everyone wants to write an essay's worth of content but there's so much left to the imagination that it's hard to pin down who exactly Chain is. For example, Chain's body build could play a factor into somebody's first impression of the guy and it doesn't even say if Chain's a beefy and imposing guy or someone who's lean and slim.
I am also concerned about how instant the semblance is since the only thing required to essentially nullify any attack is that he sees it. That means stealth or restricting his vision will mean absolutely nothing for melee fighters because all he needs to see is the weapon and then the enemy is frozen. Which given aura's ability to give the user an extrasensory perception, he can likely sense the attacks incoming.
I understand that not everyone wants to write an essay's worth of content but there's so much left to the imagination that it's hard to pin down who exactly Chain is. For example, Chain's body build could play a factor into somebody's first impression of the guy and it doesn't even say if Chain's a beefy and imposing guy or someone who's lean and slim.
I am also concerned about how instant the semblance is since the only thing required to essentially nullify any attack is that he sees it. That means stealth or restricting his vision will mean absolutely nothing for melee fighters because all he needs to see is the weapon and then the enemy is frozen. Which given aura's ability to give the user an extrasensory perception, he can likely sense the attacks incoming.
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Chain Dupp
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:51 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Black
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Edge of Tomorrow
- Weapon Name: Blade of Today
His physical description is a bit lacking. Now that exams are over and I'm home for the holidays, I can work on that!
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Colors of Remnant
- Admin
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:54 am
- Age: 99
- Gender Identity: NA
- Race: NA
- Aura Color: NA
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: NA
- Weapon Name: NA
I'm going to lock this thread since it's got 3 No votes. Feel free to reapply with Chain Dupp once you've taken into account the feedback you've received and just start a new thread so you can get a fresh vote going.