1. Are you 18 or older? We want to know if anyone is under 18 years of age. Being under 18 will not bar you from participating in our community. Rather, this will allow us to gauge who is acting inappropriately toward minors.
Yes I am 18, and then some...
2. Do you have past experience with collaborative writing or roleplay, and if so, roughly how much? You can be brief. This is intended to help us provide useful feedback in your approval.
Had many many posts on the old site. I also now have a lot of RP experience from Starfinder / Pathfinder Characters as well as being a dork on Moon Guard in WoW.
3. You may include an optional (SHORT!) Roleplay sample for people to read that gives a feel for your character in writing
http://rwby-rp.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=9245&sid=96977e21f5311b034e7dcdc8aad8681b
Good ol Ivory being her neurotic self
Ivory Lavay
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Ivory Lavay
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2021 12:32 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Silver
- Occupation: 3rd Year Student
- Semblance Name: Redline - Hereditary
- Weapon Name: Twin Moons
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Ax L Rose
- Posts: 282
- Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2021 2:27 pm
- Age: 23
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus - Major Mitchell's Cockatoo - Feathers
- Aura Color: Electric Blue
- Occupation: Huntress
- Semblance Name: Harmonize
- Weapon Name: Electra Heart + Rebel Yell
Hello again! Here is some feedback for Ivory.
1. It's noted that Ivory attended Signal instead of a combat academy in Atlas for some reason, but this reason is not elaborated on. I get the impression there is a good reason for it, and there are probably a lot of ways this could be justified. I think a little note clarifying her reasoning or intentions would fit perfectly in the backstory somewhere. It could have been as simple as wanting to get away from parents, or meet some of her other family in Vale. Maybe she admired Vale's history and their importance in producing some of the finest huntsmen and huntresses in Remnant. Maybe it was all because she wanted to attend Beacon, or avoid being pressured into Atlesian military service.
2. As mentioned on Jim and Cassandra, it might be a good idea to point out that Redline is a hereditary semblance on this profile. Now that I've looked at all of the Lavays so far, I think it might also be worth noting somewhere in their backstories as well.
3. You do state that Ivory has been at Beacon for 2 years. It might be worth it to, for the sake of clarity, restate somewhere in the profile that she's a 3rd year, assuming she still is one.
I look forward to seeing Ivory again! Ax missed her old friend! My vote is yes.
1. It's noted that Ivory attended Signal instead of a combat academy in Atlas for some reason, but this reason is not elaborated on. I get the impression there is a good reason for it, and there are probably a lot of ways this could be justified. I think a little note clarifying her reasoning or intentions would fit perfectly in the backstory somewhere. It could have been as simple as wanting to get away from parents, or meet some of her other family in Vale. Maybe she admired Vale's history and their importance in producing some of the finest huntsmen and huntresses in Remnant. Maybe it was all because she wanted to attend Beacon, or avoid being pressured into Atlesian military service.
2. As mentioned on Jim and Cassandra, it might be a good idea to point out that Redline is a hereditary semblance on this profile. Now that I've looked at all of the Lavays so far, I think it might also be worth noting somewhere in their backstories as well.
3. You do state that Ivory has been at Beacon for 2 years. It might be worth it to, for the sake of clarity, restate somewhere in the profile that she's a 3rd year, assuming she still is one.
I look forward to seeing Ivory again! Ax missed her old friend! My vote is yes.
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Ivory Lavay
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2021 12:32 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Silver
- Occupation: 3rd Year Student
- Semblance Name: Redline - Hereditary
- Weapon Name: Twin Moons
Thanks again Ax!
1) Yes, I'll reread her backstory and see how to clean this up. She was always a bit of a outsider so it wasn't much of a crazy story. More just a desire to get away. I'll make sure that I elaborate on this for sure!
2) Good idea, I'll see if I can figure out a way to word this in Jim and Ivory's profiles in particular as they would have seen the powers manifest that had already done so before. Thanks!
3) Good call!
At the sake of sounding repetitive. Thank you a ton for all this wonderful feedback on all 3
1) Yes, I'll reread her backstory and see how to clean this up. She was always a bit of a outsider so it wasn't much of a crazy story. More just a desire to get away. I'll make sure that I elaborate on this for sure!
2) Good idea, I'll see if I can figure out a way to word this in Jim and Ivory's profiles in particular as they would have seen the powers manifest that had already done so before. Thanks!
3) Good call!
At the sake of sounding repetitive. Thank you a ton for all this wonderful feedback on all 3
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Bartok Evergreen
- Posts: 253
- Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:13 am
- Age: 18
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Faunus (Vampire Bat)
- Aura Color: Blood Red
- Occupation: Student
- Semblance Name: Bleed and Drink
- Weapon Name: Coiled Sting
I like Ivory, and she's a student! Hooray!
One thing I would like to see is how she utilizes her Semblance to help her fast techniques, since it would be harder to speed up and/or harder to slow down. Activated correctly, this could help slice through enemy armor but it's not stated how quickly she can activate or deactivate it, which would make a big difference in controlling her force.
Still, voting yes because I think it's very minor, though please think on it.
One thing I would like to see is how she utilizes her Semblance to help her fast techniques, since it would be harder to speed up and/or harder to slow down. Activated correctly, this could help slice through enemy armor but it's not stated how quickly she can activate or deactivate it, which would make a big difference in controlling her force.
Still, voting yes because I think it's very minor, though please think on it.